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WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

John 21: 1-19


After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said to them, ‘I am going fishing.’ They said to him, ‘We will go with you.’ They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.


Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you have no fish, have you?’ They answered him, ‘No.’ He said to them, ‘Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.’ So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the lake. 8But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.


When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, ‘Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.’ So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, ‘Come and have breakfast.’ Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.


When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’


——————


I’m not the kind of person they likes to be asked the same question a few times. If somebody says to me ‘do you want a brew?’ I’ll say, ‘yes please’


Now, if they ask a second time or said ‘are you sure’ I’d probably look at them quizzically and say, ‘yes please’ again, wondering why they felt the need to ask. I know I’ve thought it through, and I definitely want that cup of tea!


If they asked a third time. I’d probably say, we’re you even listening to me in the first place! Or what’s worse, I would start to wonder why they didn’t ‘believe me,’ and I get a bit annoyed and upset, why aren’t you listening to me? So I feel some affinity for Peter in our passage from John’s gospel this morning.


“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.”


Is Jesus being cruel here? Some writers suggest that this narrative provides a counterpoint to Peter’s denials of Jesus when he is arrested. Three times he is accused to being a companion of Jesus; and three times he says he isn’t, each denial more fervent than the last. So that’s a possibility perhaps that the positive statements here by Peter, sort of, cancel out what he said before. And maybe there is something in that view.


But here’s a different way of looking at it. Sometimes when we are asked a question like, “What are you afraid of”? If you answer quickly you may say something like ‘oh, I’m afraid of heights, or I’m afraid of creepy crawlies or the dark or any other number of things.


But if somebody asked you again and you had time to think of it more deeply you may think. ‘I’m afraid of being in pain, I’m worried about my parents and I’m afraid of them . Im afraid when I drop my children off at school, will they be ok? I’m worried about how I will afford to put food on the table. These are deeper worries, and very legitimate ones they are.


But what if you’re asked a third time? What would you say then? Then we need to go really deep, to the very depths of our being, for the answer.


What are we afraid of? What are we really afraid of?


Death?


Of never being loved?


Afraid there is no point to anything?


Afraid that I will never ‘get anywhere’ in life?


Afraid to tell somebody that I love them?


These are the existential questions that keep us up at night. I remember hearing about somebody who’s husband was kept up at night because of the thought that there is no purpose or meaning in life.


You see what’s happening here. The same question is asked, but the answers are markedly different. The first question is quite mundane and has superficial answers. Oh I’m scared of spiders, or heights or whatever else it is. Simple things. The next time things go a bit deeper, relating to some real concerns that we have. But the third time, it hits the very depth of your being.


And I think this kind of questioning that Jesus is doing here. He wants to get to the heart of things with Peter, he’s not trying to embarrass Peter or anything like that because of his previous denials. He’s trying to find out what is in his soul.


Jesus has got to the heart of things, any sense of bravado or brashness in answering that Peter has a tendency to do has gone. Jesus sees into Peter’s soul, and Peter knows it ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ He has search Depths, and not only does Jesus know that Peter does indeed love him, but Peter himself knows, with all his heart that he loves Jesus.


We know that Peter did indeed proclaim the name of Jesus for the rest of his life. Last week we saw how Peter came up against all sorts of opposition when he went out to proclaim the gospel. And our church’s tradition tells us that he was indeed crucified because of his love for Jesus, albeit upside down as he didn’t feel worthy to be crucified the right way up as his Lord was.


Perhaps this is an opportunity today to think about this in terms of our faith. What do we believe, what do we really believe about this man Jesus and what he has done and who he is, what do we really believe… deep down… about it all. On the surface level, I have found that faith in Jesus can come and go. Sometimes it can be hard to have faith, particularly when we are going through something difficult. Sometimes we chastise ourselves all the time for ‘not believing enough’ or allowing ‘life to get in the way’ of our faith.


But it is in those moments when things are difficult where there is an invitation to ‘go deeper’ just as Jesus did with Peter, asking him three times, ‘do you love me?’ That invitation is a profound blessing, though it may not feel too much like it at the time. Our passage says that Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him again, but perhaps he was hurt, not in a superficial, ‘my feelings are hurt’ or ‘I’m insulted that you’ve asked again’ kind of way, but because his soul was truly opened up to the living God and all his joy and his pains were on open display.


When that happens, this quiet place where the soul is bared, you’ll find that God will speak to you in the deepest level of your being, bringing you his comfort, telling you of his love for you, telling you his plans for you, and bringing you his peace. It is at these moments, that our lives open up spiritually. It is in moments like these that we really know what we think. Beyond the masks beyond the superficiality that can infect our lives. Beyond all the sermons that tell you’ve no doubt say though where you’re told to ‘make sure you have more faith and to examine your hearts every day and ‘here are four techniques to deepen your faith (all of these usually result in nothing more than guilt trips). And you’ll realise that you do have faith in him, that there is something more to life than this. That we are called to a deeper existence with the living God.


‘Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you.’ May we know in our hearts that truth today.


Amen.












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