Luke 5.1-11
Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.’ When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signalled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken;10and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.
I’d like to begin with a little thought experiment. Imagine if you would, somebody that you have always been jealous or envious of. Let’s not lie, there is always somebody, somebody who has always had more than you, a bigger car, a better body a ‘better life’ whatever that means. Maybe they’ve been ambitious and managed to climb the ladder at work, or they always look so perfect and calm when you go to visit them. Their house is always in order; they always know the right thing to say, they somehow remain calm when their children are playing up whilst yours are driving you up the wall.. You know, the really annoying person that we look to and think to ourselves, ‘if only my life was like that.’
Now imagine for a moment, that you go the cinema, you get your popcorn and your drink and you sit down. But the film you were watching is not the latest action flick, or a rom con, but rather it’s a viewing the whole life of that person who is in your mind right now, every single moment of their life that they have ever had. And not just every moment, but every thought that they had ever had as well. You’d see all their secrets, their secret angers, their anxieties, their hatreds, their worries, their own feelings of anxiety. Now, you would see a lot of good as well I’m sure, but what you would focus on is the doubt, the sin, the sheer awfulness of what they think at times. You see their destructiveness of themselves, and of others. And think ‘hah, they’re not so perfect after all!’ I think many of us, if we went to see such a film, we would think to ourselves, ‘ah, what a hypocrite, look at just how awful this person really is. They look so perfect on the outside, and yet on the inside just look at them. Or we may just feel sorry for them, we may think ‘why was I so jealous of that person, they’re not better than me, in fact they’re much worse than me!
Right, now imagine somebody else for a moment, somebody who is jealous or envious of you (and I can guarantee that that is the case somewhere), and imagine they go to the cinema. And the film that they go to see, is your life. All of your actions and all of your thoughts and they look at that film and see you in all of your mess and your hypocrisy… Would you be happy for them to see it? Would you let them see it if you had the choice? I think 100% of people would say, nope, let’s put that film away and never watch it.
Imagine if the person who doesn’t like you (and rightly or wrongly, there will always be somebody who doesn’t like you) could watch it and revel at your own hypocrisy.
That thought that your whole life could be exposed in that way. It’s not a nice feeling, is it? It weighs on your heart, and you think, ‘there is no chance I would ever let that happen. When we think of somebody else’s we are curious, or perhaps eager, when it comes to us… far less so.
Now imagine, that the person who is watching is not a person who doesn’t like you. Imagine it is Jesus. Imagine if he could see it. Imagine if he could see what we are in every fibre of our being,
Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man, Peter says to Jesus. Jesus has just performed an incredible miracle. In that miracle he has shown his goodness and his divine power. Peter knows that he is in the presence of somebody who is truly holy and good and righteous, and he knows all too well just how much he isn’t like that.
When we are in the presence of true goodness, it exposes us, it exposes our doubts, our fears, our anxieties, and our rages. And we don’t like that. We don’t like that because that makes us vulnerable to the judgment, not just ourselves but also of others. When we finally see ourselves as we truly are; and we want to hide, ‘Go away from me Lord, don’t look at me.’ A similar kind of thing happens in the genesis story of the garden of Eden; when Adam and Eve sin, they hide themselves away from God because they don’t want him to know what they have done when they ate the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
We may fear judgement from others, but how does Jesus respond? He doesn’t say, you’re right, you are awful. You are a hypocrite, you judge others, when you do worse things. No he doesn’t say that at all.
Like a parent with their arms wrapped around a child, he says ‘don’t worry, don’t worry’ come with me, I will teach you a better way to be, I will teach you how to be more than you are. Apprentice yourself under me, (which is what being a disciple is) doing what I would have you do, and I will give you life and life in all of its fullness ad Jesus says elsewhere.
The end of the passage is so telling of the impact that Jesus had on Peter and the other disciples left their nets and their boats and followed him. That is code, for them leaving their own way of life, everything that they knew to follow Jesus. Fishing that time was passed on from Father to son for possibly centuries, it was all they would have known; yet they give it up to apprentice themselves to Jesus.
There are many people that say ‘I’m not good enough to be a Christian, or to go to church.’ ‘Church is full of perfect people who have no problems.’ But we that isn’t true is it, none of us are good enough, none of us are perfect. We are full of pathologies and full of dysfunctions and full of doubts and fears and anxieties. But that’s not the point, the point is, that if we acknowledge them, and turn to God and admit them to him, he will wash away the stains in our lives with his love.
So, my invitation this morning, is to have that courage, have that courage to let your defences down. Not to say ‘go away Lord’ but to say ‘Lord, I’m not perfect, but could you use me for you and for your glory’. And Jesus is the one, with smile on his face and a knowing look in his eyes says, ‘of course I can, apprentice yourself to me, and I will teach you the way to be.’ And if we let it, his goodness will shine out in in our lives. Shining in our darkness, changing us from within.
Make that decision and commitment to apprentice yourself to him today.
Amen.
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